What happened to the man I married?
I bet he’s still in there. It’s just that after several years of marriage, with the added complications of kids, money and life in Israel, it’s harder for you to see him the way you used to.
I can guide you to resolve conflict, become better partners and rekindle the love in your marriage.
Hello
I’m Malka.
I'm a certified marriage and life coach for women.
I’ve been married for almost thirty years, raised six children and cared for my elderly parents (while still attending to my own young children). I’m also a breast cancer survivor. In short, I’ve experienced the intense ups and downs that make up a life. My marriage has not just survived, we’re better partners than ever before. Honestly.
I’ve helped many women to practically address the frustration and loneliness they feel in their marriages.
I can help you, too.
“Malka was not only a kind and patient listener, but she also gave me very good, targeted guidance. She empowered to me to let go of my baggage and focus on the future, on how to be a better wife, parent and daughter.”
- Noa Cohen, Tel Aviv
(name changed for privacy purposes)
Find the taste of home again
Life doesn’t follow a recipe. And neither does your marriage.
You expected your husband to always support you and pay attention to your needs. But instead, you often feel underappreciated, misunderstood and alone, even when you’re together.
You might feel:
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I’m not important to him.
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He doesn’t get me.
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He doesn’t respect me.
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He’s not a fair partner.
But you don’t want a divorce.
You want to stay together.
I’ll give you a safe space where you can put your heavy stuff down, without judgment.
Discover a new way to move beyond the things you don’t like, so you can feel at home again.
You deserve better
You’ve had enough of the way things are. You want to feel connection, trust, love and joy. And you can. Working together, we’ll uncover what’s really going on between you and your husband and learn how to make things better.
I’ll help you answer questions like:
What do I do when he says that?
What do I do when he isn’t being fair?
How do I get him to listen to me?
Whatever has been until now, there is hope. You can heal. You can enjoy life and marriage again.
I’m here to show you the way home.
“Malka's perspective and advice have hit the target over here. We both appreciate each other more. It still gets sticky sometimes, but I feel much better about it. I call these our ‘growth moments’.”
- Leora Ruben, Beit Shemesh
(name changed for privacy purposes)
Stage 1 / Your Unique Story
Share the heavy burden you've been carrying around without judgment.
Then, we'll identify the issues that need work.
Stage 2 / The Sorting
Some parts of the story are yours, others are his. We'll separate *his* behavior (fact) from your response (feeling). We’ll then address whatever is in your power to change including your thoughts, feelings and behavior.
Stage 3 / Your Package Deal
You want to be unconditionally loved by your husband on both good days and bad ones.
Surprise! He wants exactly the same thing.
Envision how you can relate to your husband so that he feels your love, too. This might involve giving up certain expectations. But it also means you’ll make room for newer, better ones on the journey towards a more meaningful and peaceful relationship.
Stage 4 / Starting A New Chapter
Insight is only a tool. The goal is a better married life, each and every day.
We’ll design a plan to start putting your insights into practice.
Maybe you thought the way to be happy again was to get him to fix himself. So, you tried that. But it didn’t work. In fact, it was draining. Here's the missing piece: he wants to be your partner and to be himself. When he feels pressure to be different, he resists one way or another. Which is good news for you because you want to be married to a Person and a Partner, not a pet.
You can connect with your husband while you each respect and develop your unique selves. This takes anywhere from several sessions, to a few months. We'll work at a pace that is right for you.
My Coaching Process
You can be happy with your husband again.
More about me
There are two types of children of divorced parents: those who swear they’ll never get married and those who are determined to get married and make it work. I'm the second kind. You’ll often find me curled up on the sofa with a book, or online, reading current research on happiness, relationships, marriage and family dynamics, stress management and the power of mindset. I do my best to practice in my own life what I learn and teach.
Originally from the Bronx, New York, I moved to Israel in 1991 after obtaining my bachelor’s degree, and got married in 1995. I taught pre-marriage classes for 15 years while completing my training as a Parenting and Marriage Coach at Merkaz Shefer, Jerusalem. With almost 30 years of marriage under my belt and six kids ages 12-25, perhaps the most effective training I’ve participated in is the one called: LIFE EXPERIENCE.
I understand on a deep level the ingredients needed to build
a thriving marriage. And I want to share them with you.
“Malka is a real queen! She gave me perspective, which motivated me to change my behavior. For example, I put my baby to sleep in her sister’s room. I was always afraid that her big ‘sis would wake up because the baby was crying. Well guess what? The baby did wake her up as predicted, and big ‘sis did get up tired in the morning. But the world did not come to an end! I’m not co-sleeping anymore! And my husband is very grateful.”
- Zehava Ross, Petach Tikva
(name changed for privacy purposes)
FAQ
How do I know if marriage coaching is for me?
If you've been carrying around heavy feelings and want relief, working with me can help! You can say it all and be truly heard and supported, without judgment or criticism. That experience can do so much to improve the energy in your marriage and your life.
Still unsure? Let’s chat. Book a free 15 minute discovery call.
What if my husband is not interested in couple's therapy?
Most of us are prey to a false mindset, thinking our problems in life are caused by other people. They're not. Not really.
I am here to empower YOU, regardless of your husband's willingness to change.
If you're unhappy or dissatisfied, you can wait for someone else to save you or you can do something about it. Which do you think will serve you better?
Don't we have to work on our marriage together?
In a tug of war, it doesn't matter which side drops the rope; either way, there's no more tension. The challenge is to do this without feeling like you've given up or lost the game.
Can you help me get my partner to understand what I want?
Yes, and so much more!
There is such a thing as right and wrong; doesn't that matter?
We are two people in a marriage. Funny how each of us claims to be right. We each had our own ideas when we got married and didn't agree to give them up at the wedding. Expecting our partner to do things our way (not the right way, my way, see the difference?) intensifies the disagreement into a struggle.
My job is to help you move from struggle towards teamwork.
How does it work, and how much does it cost?
We meet via an online video call once a week for 60 minutes.
On average, I meet with women over 6-8 sessions. But it might take less time (or more time).
Each session costs 350₪ or $100 payable via Bit / Paybox / bank transfer.
No, you don’t need a new husband
Your marriage is at the center of your life. Everything that happens around you and your husband will affect it. Some days will feel better than others. That’s real life.
The resilience of your marriage is part of what determines how you come through difficult situations. With my support and guidance, you’ll strengthen your marriage.
And you’ll be much happier with the husband you already have.
